More Help for Couples in Porn Theaters

I have had a several emails lately asking - essentially - the same questions. They come from couples who have been visiting their local porn theaters and would like to play, but aren't exactly sure how. Some time ago, I posted some Tips for Couples in Porn Theaters, but as I review it now, I see that I focused more on how to control the crowd and to feel comfortable in a theater. The new questions touch on things like:

• How do I let someone know I am interested?
• We want to watch other couples, but don't want to be perceived as "creepy stalkers".
• Do I have to tell them exactly what I want, or can things just sort of develop naturally.
• What if we want to leave the theater with someone?

You get the idea. So, with that in mind, let me list a few ideas. If you haven't read the other Tips post, check it out for some general background, then come back and pick things up here again.

 So you and your significant other have found your way into an adult theater. You came on purpose, you know what goes on, and you have decided between you what you might be up for. But it's not quite that easy. Sex in porn theaters, of course, is largely dependent on others. Yes, you and your SO can play in a dark room even if no one else is there, and that can be fun, but you have decided that you want to be more "interactive" with others. That, of course, requires "others". And not just anyone will do, will it? Perhaps you're looking for another couple. Perhaps a certain kind of guy. Maybe even a single woman (good luck!). Let's assume that you have spotted someone that fits your bill. Now what?

1 - Attitude is everything

Your body language, posture, facial expression, interaction between the two of you and your general level of comfort all send a message. If you are both stiff, arms folded, scarcely touching one another and hardly speaking, you are sending a message to the rest of the room that tells them to stay away. On the other hand, if you are relaxed, smiling (or doing something else!) between yourselves and enjoying your surroundings you are sending a very different message. It may take you some time to get comfortable and find your own rhythm, but you should get to that place before you begin considering someone else.

2 - Eye contact is your friend

Couples always get attention in porn theaters. I'm continually surprised by the husband who gets angry because someone turns and looks at his wife. On the other hand, I am also surprised by the guy who sits and stares at a couple when there is nothing to stare at, but that's a topic for a different day. When you see that guy or that couple that interests you, just cast a glance in their direction and smile. Frankly, I would suggest that the lady make eye contact. In some cases, the guy may actually approach you then. He may speak or he may wait to see if there is another indication from you. Unless a couple is experienced in the lifestyle and interested in you, they will probably stay where they are. Watch to see if she smiles in return. I said "she". He will almost always smile.

Just like meeting in bars, the beach, a concert or the hardware store, a simple smile with genuine eye contact is the first step in making a new acquaintance. Some civility exists even in porn theaters. It is generally enough to break the ice, and sometimes even more.

3 - A simple invitation is often enough

A few months ago I was in a crowded porn theater in Florida. There was the normal current of men making laps between the various rooms to see what they could see. Couples were also drifting in an out in that silent but certain rhythm that many porn theaters experience on a weekend night. Among them was an attractive younger couple. She was brunette and busty and wore yoga pants under a flowing top too long to be called a blouse, but too short to be a dress. Almost. The floated out at a point, but when she returned 10 minutes later the pants were gone. They sat on a sofa not far behind me, towards the corner. Needless to say, she got a lot of attention. I turned to check on them a couple of times, thinking she might be up for a show, but she gave no such indication. About the third or fourth time I turned around, she looked directly at me and patted the couch next to her. I responded like a well-trained terrier. The next 5 minutes were filled with light touching (though she would not let me touch her legs) and her feeling my dick through my pants. Apparently she was satisfied with what she found there, because at the end of those five minutes she took my hand and led me to a private room where we gave hubby a show.  The old seat tap is a proven winner when you are looking for a guy.

4 - Conversation is still appropriate

The seat tap is not appropriate, of course, for a couple. Once you have made eye contact and have not been shut down, the next step is for words. Sometimes this happens in hallway, or the retail area of the store or a smoking area. Sometimes it takes place right in the theater. Approach together, the lady making eye contact with the lady. That is the least... um... threatening to a woman who may still be a little uncomfortable in a theater. Say hello. Tell them your names (you can feel free to make up names for the occasion). Chat with them like you would with someone you just met at a party. Actually, this is easier than a party, because everyone knows why you are there. Sort of. So you will need to find out the specifics in their case. Questions can be polite and discreet. No need to ask "can we fuck your wife?" But they should be on point. Have they been there before? Do they come often? Are they looking for company? What are they into, or looking for? It won't take long before you know whether or not you have found your match.

There generally isn't as much conversation with a single guy. Frankly, I have found that when I go to the theater alone, my chances of being invited to play with a couple grow exponentially when I speak with them. It can be a simple greeting as I pass by, asking an innocent question or making a non-sexual remark to judge their level of interest or, in some cases, just making a simple proposition. However, you will often find that men can be unnervingly quiet in a theater. That's why so many couples refer to the single men in porn theaters as zombies. The quietly follow couples at an awkward distance, without saying a word.

If you see a guy across the room, or in the lobby, or the hallway or wherever, and he has not approached you, it is quite fine for you to make first contact. That can be done in one of two ways. First, the man can make the approach. This is pretty straightforward: "My wife would like to know if you would like to sit with us." Or, "Do you play with couples?" Or, "We're looking for someone to watch us." Just tell him what you want. The other option, and a more enjoyable one for a voyeuristic or submissive husband or boyfriend, is for the woman to approach. Watch his body language and expression closely as you do. He may be gay. In which case you can smile and keep on walking. On the other hand, he may smile broadly, and be more than open to you walking up and either talking to him, or groping him on the spot!

5 - Clarity is key

Now that you have found a potential playmate, let him or them know exactly what you are looking for. Want to watch and be watched in a private room or at a hotel? (NEVER take someone to your home, or go to their home on a first meeting). Want an audience in the theater? Want to swap? Just tell them. Don't urge them to cross their boundaries, and don't let them talk you into crossing yours.

6 - Lather, rinse, repeat

If you are looking for more group participation, you just need to let others know in (sort of) the same way. If she wants more than one cock, all she needs to do is make eye contact with other guys as she is playing with the first one. The boys will no doubt get closer and pull out their own members for inspection. Just reach out and touch. If anything, hubby may need to keep things from getting out of hand. If eye contact doesn't work, speak up. About three weeks ago I was in a theater and a couple walked in. She dropped her coat before they even sat down, revealing a nice rack, a pair of black stockings and nothing else. As she settled into her seat, her man said, "She's up for whatever you're up for guys. Just stay away from her asshole." By the time I left, he had repeated that instruction three separate times so that the newcomers would be aware of what was available. She was still enjoying herself as I drifted out of the room.

So there you go. It's all pretty straightforward. Go, have fun, and let me know how it goes. If you have more specific questions, just hit me up with the form below. I'll do my best to respond.