Tips for Single Women in Porn Theaters

Today I am finishing up a series of posts of guidelines for your porn theater visit. You can read my tips for couples or etiquette for single guys in adult theaters if you'd like, to get a little broader context on things. Today, I turn my attention to a request that I received from Lexi. She said:

I stumbled acrossed your blog by accident, and I love it! I do have one favor to ask, could you post some advice for us ladies that fantasize about giving themselves unto a theater. I've been to my local adult theater to make purchases but have never made it past the store front. I just don't know how to go about it. I would love to go to one just far enough away not to be recognized, but I have no clue what to do next. 

Could you give advice to us ladies that fantasize about giving ourselves over to a theater? I have so many questions.... Is it safe to go on my own? When is a good time to go? How do I know if someone is interested in play? How do I let them know I'm game? How do I set boundaries? 

It would be great if you could address these questions. I do so hope you'll consider it, who knows maybe I'll meet you in a dark theater someday.

Etiquette for Single Guys in Porn Theaters

Yesterday I posted some guidelines for couples in porn theaters, based on some recent observations. Even if you aren't a couple, you may want to read the first few paragraphs, at least, of that post to get some context for today's entry. In an effort to help you increase your chances, as a single guy in a porn theater, I offer some basic rules for porn theater etiquette.

The Couple's Guide to a Good Time in a Porn Theater

I need to vent a bit. I just spent a weekend heavily immersed in Adult Theater activity. I watched dozens of couples, scores (if not hundreds) of guys, two threesomes and three CDs drift in and out of three different theaters in two different cities over the course of three days. Every one of them comes for their own reasons, looking for their own kicks, and hoping to have a memorable experience. Many, but not all, go home happy. A good number go home unsatisfied because they shot themselves in the foot. Some, sadly, go home frustrated because of the actions of others. Let me be clear, before I am accused of whining because I was one of the frustrated: This weekend (at least) that was not the case. I was a very fortunate patron at all three establishments. I simply share my observations as a porn theater veteran, based on what I observed over the weekend, and what I have seen over the years, going solo, with a woman, and with other couples.

Rubenesque Blonde Makes Hubby Happy in Waverly, VA.

Not Vanessa, but you get the idea.

The painting to the right is called Venus at the Mirror. It was painted in 1615 by a cat named Peter Paul Rubens. I mention this only so that you will understand what I mean when I say she was "rubenesque", just like Venus on your right. Peter Paul preferred his women with curves. He would have loved Vanessa (named changed to protect the less-than-innocent).

I met Vanessa on a rainy night in Waverly, Virginia, about an hour from Richmond at the Waverly Book and Video store. It was storming like crazy as I arrived, and I nearly turned back, thinking that no couple would be coming out in this kind of weather. I'm glad I decided to stay.

I had been sitting in the theater with two other guys, listening to the rain pound on the roof as two black guys pounded a giggly blonde on the screen, for about a half an hour when Vanessa and her husband walked in. As I say she was "rubenesque," yet she carried it well. Somehow, her blonde hair seemed to have survived the deluge. The dark colored wrap dress she was wearing didn't fare as well. Even in the darkness of the theater you could see that it was clinging to her in ways that is was not intended to do. The dress revealed a fair amount of cleavage, and a good bit of her ample, yet shapely leg. She was comfortable on her high heels, which resulted in a nice curve in her nylon-covered calves.

Ma and Pa Come to Town - And Visit a Porn Theater

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Asian Woman Brings GFE to Porn Theater Sex

Let’s be clear. Porn theater sex is dirty. That’s part of the appeal. If we wanted roses, chocolates, champagne and heart-shaped beds we would be somewhere else. The thrill, of course, is doing what you are not supposed to, with someone you’re not supposed to do it with, in a place where you aren’t supposed to do it. On top of that, a lot of porn theaters are dirty. Not all, of course, but many. So dirty sex in a dirty place usually does not lead to what hookers refer to as “the girlfriend experience”. There is no cuddling afterward. Nobody asks “was it good for you?” It’s all about the pure animal act. It is usually fast, often uncomfortable and always without emotion.

Almost always. If I ever saw a woman who made porn theater sex sensuous, tender and GFE-like, it was a memorable little Asian chick in Tampa.

"Shocking" Undercover Video of Sex in Porn Theaters

The first thing that I noticed about this report on the 15th Avenue Bookstore in a Chicago suburb is that it was done in February. That's typical. Known as "Sweeps Month" this is when local news programs are doing all they can to attract viewers so they can set their ad rates as high as possible. If they were that shocked, they would have aired this the first day they heard about it.

Even better, was the mayor's request for a copy of the video. I bet hizhonor (like the rest of us) would prefer to see the unedited version for his "probing investigation".

By the way. Four years have passed since this report aired, and 15th Ave. is doing more business than ever. If you are ever in the midwest, you need to stop in, as you can plainly see in the video.

A First Date at the Art Theater in Hartford, CT

For some time I have been hearing about the Art Theater in Hartford. The reviews have been effusive with praise. I figure that any place that can make Dr. Emilio Lizardo fly half-way across the country must be worth checking out, so I did. I was not disappointed. It took me back to my earliest days of prowling adult theaters, when the majority of them were renovated (or not so renovated) movie houses from days gone by.

This is a real theater. Lobby, popcorn machine, balcony, big screen. A theater. A building originally designed to show movies in a comfortable environment. Management has pretty much restored it to its Art Deco glory. It is clean, well run and very couple-friendly.

I had the pleasure of accompanying Denise to the Art.  I met her through Ashley Madison (which has been one of my better “fishin’ holes” of late) and after chatting long-distance she agreed to join me on the night that I visited Hartford for the express purpose of checking out the Art. We had a “getting to know you” meal and a drink before making our way to the theater. It was her first experience with adult entertainment in a public setting so I was hoping that everything that I had read about the place was accurate. She was more than a little nervous about her first time, I was fairly certain that it wouldn’t have taken much to cause her to recant her decision and disappear into the Connecticut night. After a warm and professional welcome from the management, and a brief overview of the operation, we entered the theater and made our way directly to the couples-only balcony.

Worth the Wait at Fantasyland in Tampa

Fantasyland continues to provide a clean, comfortable place for couples (and others) to play, offering a nice variety of venues under one roof. Up front there is a bright, clean, well-stocked adult store. Off the sales floor, there are three major areas. First is the infamous pool room, which is large enough for four tables, plus scattered chairs and three TV screens. The night I was there, a bowl game was playing on one, making it a pretty popular place, even though few people were actually shooting pool. I’m not sure if it was some sort of a special occasion, but there was pizza available to the patrons in there, too.

Quiet Saturday Night at the Buford Twin

Saturday was a reasonably quiet night at the Buford Twin in Atlanta. I was making my way across the state and took advantage of the opportunity to drop by one of the few adult theaters in the southeast where couples occasionally visit.

There were a fair number of cars parked near the theater when I pulled in around 10. That’s usually a good sign. Then I noticed that many of them had guys sitting in them, watching the door of the theater, waiting couples. That, of course, is not a good sign.

I went in any way and laid down my 14 dollars, then wandered into the theater on the left. As I walked down the left aisle I was surprised to see a couple in the couples section. I took a seat a row behind them, on the opposite side of the aisle. They were just watching the movie. Within five minutes of my arrival, they were walking out the door. The guy sitting in front of me said that they had been there for about 45 minutes and had done nothing.

It didn’t take long before another couple entered. They stayed as far from the couples sections as possible, preferring to sit in the last row on the right side. Watching the crowd gather and hearing the friendly chatter among the group, it was obvious that they were comfortable regulars.

Introducing Amy to Porn Theaters

I met "John and Amy" through a mutual friend. Actually, I met John when a bunch of us got together to watch a playoff game many, many years ago. We got along well and found out that both of us were just learning the game of golf and decided to get together some time for a round. Men can talk about a lot of things on the golf course, but sooner or later the conversation turns to women in general and sex in particular. I found out that John was married. He found out that I was seeing a couple of different women so my sex life seemed to be a frequent topic of conversation.

Early on in our friendship, I was reluctant to tell him everything that I was into, but eventually I told him about my interest in porn theaters. He had been to a couple, but couldn't believe the things I (vaguely) described  that went on. I told him to take his wife sometime and check it out for himself. He told me, almost predictably, that there was no way his wife would agree to that.  So it was that John and I began visiting a few local theaters together from time to time.

We were fortunate to see a few ladies on those visits. Even more fortunately we got to play with a couple of them. I even invited him along one night when Wanda and I went together. As much as he seemed to enjoy the scene he kept talking about getting his wife there. He surprised me one day by inviting me to his home for dinner. He wanted me to meet Amy. No "funny business", as he put it, just dinner.