Saturday

Wanda Goes Black at the Porn Theater

Long before anyone invented the acronym FWB, Wanda and I were exactly that. We simply called one another fuck-buddies and it was an arrangement that worked well for both of us. Many people we knew assumed we were a couple. And we were – sort of. Much in the same way that a couple of alley cats who sleep under the same tarp most nights are a couple. We did set up house together for a while. Nearly a year, in fact. But even then we both had our own places to retreat to whenever it might have been convenient, and there was no pretense of sexual fidelity. Ours was an open, complicated, relationship. Frankly, for us, it was pretty simple. We liked each other, got along very well and we both loved to fuck. We just never expected the other one to restrict said fucking to our bed.

The great thing about a fuck-buddy like Wanda is that they are excellent co-conspirators. As a result, they can help you arrange things that might not otherwise be possible. For instance, Wanda wanted to rob not one, but two, young men of their manhood at the same time. It wasn’t that hard for me to find willing volunteers for her. Likewise, I long ago checked that “threesome with two sisters” fantasy off my bucket list, thanks to Wanda. So when she told me one night that she wanted nothing but black guys in a semi-public setting, I knew that I would be escorting her to the porn theater.

Wednesday

Tips for Single Women in Porn Theaters

Today I am finishing up a series of posts of guidelines for your porn theater visit. You can read my tips for couples or etiquette for single guys in adult theaters if you'd like, to get a little broader context on things. Today, I turn my attention to a request that I received from Lexi. She said:

I stumbled acrossed your blog by accident, and I love it! I do have one favor to ask, could you post some advice for us ladies that fantasize about giving themselves unto a theater. I've been to my local adult theater to make purchases but have never made it past the store front. I just don't know how to go about it. I would love to go to one just far enough away not to be recognized, but I have no clue what to do next. 

Could you give advice to us ladies that fantasize about giving ourselves over to a theater? I have so many questions.... Is it safe to go on my own? When is a good time to go? How do I know if someone is interested in play? How do I let them know I'm game? How do I set boundaries? 

It would be great if you could address these questions. I do so hope you'll consider it, who knows maybe I'll meet you in a dark theater someday.

Tuesday

Etiquette for Single Guys in Porn Theaters

Yesterday I posted some guidelines for couples in porn theaters, based on some recent observations. Even if you aren't a couple, you may want to read the first few paragraphs, at least, of that post to get some context for today's entry. In an effort to help you increase your chances, as a single guy in a porn theater, I offer some basic rules for porn theater etiquette.

Monday

The Couple's Guide to a Good Time in a Porn Theater

I need to vent a bit. I just spent a weekend heavily immersed in Adult Theater activity. I watched dozens of couples, scores (if not hundreds) of guys, two threesomes and three CDs drift in and out of three different theaters in two different cities over the course of three days. Every one of them comes for their own reasons, looking for their own kicks, and hoping to have a memorable experience. Many, but not all, go home happy. A good number go home unsatisfied because they shot themselves in the foot. Some, sadly, go home frustrated because of the actions of others. Let me be clear, before I am accused of whining because I was one of the frustrated: This weekend (at least) that was not the case. I was a very fortunate patron at all three establishments. I simply share my observations as a porn theater veteran, based on what I observed over the weekend, and what I have seen over the years, going solo, with a woman, and with other couples.

Wednesday

Rubenesque Blonde Makes Hubby Happy in Waverly, VA.

Not Vanessa, but you get the idea.
The painting to the right is called Venus at the Mirror. It was painted in 1615 by a cat named Peter Paul Rubens. I mention this only so that you will understand what I mean when I say she was "rubenesque", just like Venus on your right. Peter Paul preferred his women with curves. He would have loved Vanessa (named changed to protect the less-than-innocent).

I met Vanessa on a rainy night in Waverly, Virginia, about an hour from Richmond at the Waverly Book and Video store. It was storming like crazy as I arrived, and I nearly turned back, thinking that no couple would be coming out in this kind of weather. I'm glad I decided to stay.

I had been sitting in the theater with two other guys, listening to the rain pound on the roof as two black guys pounded a giggly blonde on the screen, for about a half an hour when Vanessa and her husband walked in. As I say she was "rubenesque," yet she carried it well. Somehow, her blonde hair seemed to have survived the deluge. The dark colored wrap dress she was wearing didn't fare as well. Even in the darkness of the theater you could see that it was clinging to her in ways that is was not intended to do. The dress revealed a fair amount of cleavage, and a good bit of her ample, yet shapely leg. She was comfortable on her high heels, which resulted in a nice curve in her nylon-covered calves.

Thursday

Ma and Pa Come to Town - And Visit a Porn Theater

I watched the McCook Theater, located in a rundown area of Dayton, Ohio, change over the years. Like a lot of other porn theaters of the 70’s and 80’s, the McCook had an earlier life as a mainstream movie house, but with the advent of shopping malls, multi-screen cineplexes and the general migration of the “genteel folk” to the suburbs, the McCook was reincarnated as a smut house.  Through changes of ownership and developing business models, it slowly evolved from a single theater to a “Boutique” featuring a retail section, the requisite video booths and an ever-shrinking theater.

I saw – and participated in – a few public sex exhibitions at the McCook over the years, but my favorite has to be the couple that I always think of as “Ma and Pa”. If you’re as old as I am, you may remember a series of black and white movies that featured a bucolic couple who had all sorts of misadventures every time they left the farm. Fear of a lawsuit (ha) keeps me from mentioning their last name, so I’ll just keep it to Ma and Pa.

Wednesday

Asian Woman Brings GFE to Porn Theater Sex

Let’s be clear. Porn theater sex is dirty. That’s part of the appeal. If we wanted roses, chocolates, champagne and heart-shaped beds we would be somewhere else. The thrill, of course, is doing what you are not supposed to, with someone you’re not supposed to do it with, in a place where you aren’t supposed to do it. On top of that, a lot of porn theaters are dirty. Not all, of course, but many. So dirty sex in a dirty place usually does not lead to what hookers refer to as “the girlfriend experience”. There is no cuddling afterward. Nobody asks “was it good for you?” It’s all about the pure animal act. It is usually fast, often uncomfortable and always without emotion.

Almost always. If I ever saw a woman who made porn theater sex sensuous, tender and GFE-like, it was a memorable little Asian chick in Tampa.