Tips for Sigle Women in Porn Theaters

Today I am finishing up a series of posts of guidelines for your porn theater visit. You can read my tips for couples or etiquette for single guys in adult theaters if you'd like, to get a little broader context on things. Today, I turn my attention to a request that I received from Lexi. She said:

I stumbled acrossed your blog by accident, and I love it! I do have one favor to ask, could you post some advice for us ladies that fantasize about giving themselves unto a theater. I've been to my local adult theater to make purchases but have never made it past the store front. I just don't know how to go about it. I would love to go to one just far enough away not to be recognized, but I have no clue what to do next. 

Could you give advice to us ladies that fantasize about giving ourselves over to a theater? I have so many questions.... Is it safe to go on my own? When is a good time to go? How do I know if someone is interested in play? How do I let them know I'm game? How do I set boundaries? 

It would be great if you could address these questions. I do so hope you'll consider it, who knows maybe I'll meet you in a dark theater someday.


Etiquette for Single Guys in Porn Theaters

Yesterday I posted some guidelines for couples in porn theaters, based on some recent observations. Even if you aren't a couple, you may want to read the first few paragraphs, at least, of that post to get some context for today's entry. In an effort to help you increase your chances, as a single guy in a porn theater, I offer some basic rules for porn theater etiquette.


The Couple's Guide to a Good Time in a Porn Theater

I need to vent a bit. I just spent a weekend heavily immersed in Adult Theater activity. I watched dozens of couples, scores (if not hundreds) of guys, two threesomes and three CDs drift in and out of three different theaters in two different cities over the course of three days. Every one of them comes for their own reasons, looking for their own kicks, and hoping to have a memorable experience. Many, but not all, go home happy. A good number go home unsatisfied because they shot themselves in the foot. Some, sadly, go home frustrated because of the actions of others. Let me be clear, before I am accused of whining because I was one of the frustrated: This weekend (at least) that was not the case. I was a very fortunate patron at all three establishments. I simply share my observations as a porn theater veteran, based on what I observed over the weekend, and what I have seen over the years, going solo, with a woman, and with other couples.


Rubenesque Blonde Makes Hubby Happy in Waverly, VA.

Not Vanessa, but you get the idea.
The painting to the right is called Venus at the Mirror. It was painted in 1615 by a cat named Peter Paul Rubens. I mention this only so that you will understand what I mean when I say she was "rubenesque", just like Venus on your right. Peter Paul preferred his women with curves. He would have loved Vanessa (named changed to protect the less-than-innocent).

I met Vanessa on a rainy night in Waverly, Virginia, about an hour from Richmond at the Waverly Book and Video store. It was storming like crazy as I arrived, and I nearly turned back, thinking that no couple would be coming out in this kind of weather. I'm glad I decided to stay.

I had been sitting in the theater with two other guys, listening to the rain pound on the roof as two black guys pounded a giggly blonde on the screen, for about a half an hour when Vanessa and her husband walked in. As I say she was "rubenesque," yet she carried it well. Somehow, her blonde hair seemed to have survived the deluge. The dark colored wrap dress she was wearing didn't fare as well. Even in the darkness of the theater you could see that it was clinging to her in ways that is was not intended to do. The dress revealed a fair amount of cleavage, and a good bit of her ample, yet shapely leg. She was comfortable on her high heels, which resulted in a nice curve in her nylon-covered calves.


Ma and Pa Come to Town - And Visit a Porn Theater

I watched the McCook Theater, located in a rundown area of Dayton, Ohio, change over the years. Like a lot of other porn theaters of the 70’s and 80’s, the McCook had an earlier life as a mainstream movie house, but with the advent of shopping malls, multi-screen cineplexes and the general migration of the “genteel folk” to the suburbs, the McCook was reincarnated as a smut house.  Through changes of ownership and developing business models, it slowly evolved from a single theater to a “Boutique” featuring a retail section, the requisite video booths and an ever-shrinking theater.

I saw – and participated in – a few public sex exhibitions at the McCook over the years, but my favorite has to be the couple that I always think of as “Ma and Pa”. If you’re as old as I am, you may remember a series of black and white movies that featured a bucolic couple who had all sorts of misadventures every time they left the farm. Fear of a lawsuit (ha) keeps me from mentioning their last name, so I’ll just keep it to Ma and Pa.


Asian Woman Brings GFE to Porn Theater Sex

Let’s be clear. Porn theater sex is dirty. That’s part of the appeal. If we wanted roses, chocolates, champagne and heart-shaped beds we would be somewhere else. The thrill, of course, is doing what you are not supposed to, with someone you’re not supposed to do it with, in a place where you aren’t supposed to do it. On top of that, a lot of porn theaters are dirty. Not all, of course, but many. So dirty sex in a dirty place usually does not lead to what hookers refer to as “the girlfriend experience”. There is no cuddling afterward. Nobody asks “was it good for you?” It’s all about the pure animal act. It is usually fast, often uncomfortable and always without emotion.

Almost always. If I ever saw a woman who made porn theater sex sensuous, tender and GFE-like, it was a memorable little Asian chick in Tampa.


"Shocking" Undercover Video of Sex in Porn Theaters

The first thing that I noticed about this report on the 15th Avenue Bookstore in a Chicago suburb is that it was done in February. That's typical. Known as "Sweeps Month" this is when local news programs are doing all they can to attract viewers so they can set their ad rates as high as possible. If they were that shocked, they would have aired this the first day they heard about it.

Even better, was the mayor's request for a copy of the video. I bet hizhonor (like the rest of us) would prefer to see the unedited version for his "probing investigation".

By the way. Four years have passed since this report aired, and 15th Ave. is doing more business than ever. If you are ever in the midwest, you need to stop in, as you can plainly see in the video.